These Shoes Weren’t Made For Walking

maria Tettamanti in Alexis

{Alexis dress, B-Low The Belt Alpha Belt available here, Prada calf hair pumps}

Maria Tettamanti in Alexis

Prada leopard pumps

Orange and Leopard

Those leopard shoes. I know. They’re everything.

But…wearing them is like modern-day waterboarding — as in SHEER, FAACKING TORTURE. No lie. Wearing these bad boys is complete shoe-icide — I can handle five minutes TOPS in these five-inchers until what feels like tiny shards of glass are piercing my soles. And brain. And then I’ll start verbally accosting whomever happens to be within a three-mile radius.

I be all like, “This girl’s feet are on FIYA.” You know, like that infectious Alicia Keys’ song only with the words changed around a smidge.

Which drives me to my next point.

What is the most excutiating item in your wardrobe? I want to know.

 Photos by Soula Pefkaros

 

 

11 Comments

  1. March 12, 2013 / 8:56 am

    That’s exactly why I separate my shoes into sitting shoes and walking shoes! If I know I’m going to be sitting the majority of the time I’ll slip on those to die for “sitting” shoes 😉

  2. Lizzie
    March 12, 2013 / 9:10 am

    OMG, I so understand your physical pain! But they really are gorgeous! 5 minutes is not bad at all. For me, I can probably last 10 seconds max! Nowadays, I can’t handle a heel that’s higher than 2 1/2 or 3 inches. Believe it or not, the only heels I wear, if I do wear heels, are from Naturalizer. They stopped making old ladies’ shoes!!!!

  3. Wordy Girl
    March 12, 2013 / 9:15 am

    Genius, Charnele. Lizzie, I feel your pain!

  4. March 12, 2013 / 10:47 am

    I hate PANTYHOUSE! I feel like my legs are imprisoned! BTW-I was about to skip my Zumba class tonight until I saw your legs…Thanks! 😉

  5. March 12, 2013 / 12:09 pm

    SHOE-ICIDE! I died laughing! I have some shoes in my closet I can’t even look at without feeling pain! But, they look amazing on you! xx

  6. March 12, 2013 / 1:41 pm

    stupid beautiful shoes… such a love/hate affair. i was helping my niece pick out prom shoes and i started rattling off the time limit of each and she looked at me like i was nutz.

  7. March 12, 2013 / 1:50 pm

    So sad those shoes hurt boo. I have an old pair of Alexander Wangs that kill. Before he started making shoes humans could walk in his shoes were torture. I can’t be in them for longer than 5. Even shooting in them is painful.

    I remember Amanda wore this dress to Harper’s Bazaar during Basel, love it. Looks great on you as well.

  8. March 13, 2013 / 12:28 am

    this dress is killer amazing. and i agree. i’ve got way too many uncomfortable shoes. but theyre so puuurty!

  9. March 19, 2013 / 11:57 am

    wearing shoes should never be a matter of torture. We already do enough for fashion and beauty, why kill the 2 things that support it all: your feet.
    And you have sitting shoes and walking shoes, and peeing shoes and f..ing shoes, seriously!
    Don’t we do enough with plucking, waxing, dieting, exercising, dressing along is a mission.
    My solution: cut corners with your clothing and safe some money for your shoes, oh and also find a shoe minion…guaranteed best asset you’ll ever know.

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